SHOPPING FOR A HUSBAND!

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building.

So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking.

"Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?"

The fourth floor sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework.

"Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight.

The fifth floor sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak.

"Oh, mercy me! But just think... what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes.

The sixth floor sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

Moyes Need to MAN-UP

There is no room for Manchester United manager David Moyes to hide.
There were doubts about his ability to manage one of the biggest sporting brands in the world after the retirement of Sir Alex Ferguson. After eight matches in the Premier League season Manchester United are the butt of all jokes.
I will admit that I was calm and trusted that he would be good enough for the job - am still confident that he is. However, the time has come for him to take the bull by the horns, get as tough as he can and basically "man up" at Man U.
All the first team players at Manchester United have Premier League winners' medals bar Fellaini and the young lad Janusaj, so they will need the manager to show them what new things he brings to the table. At Everton, David Moyes showed a lot of modern tactical play with his team and rarely ever set the team up in the old fashioned 4-4-2 formation that he inexplicably uses at Man United now. It is a formation that is so rare to see at any of the top clubs in Europe.
It is very difficult to make excuses for the United manager with regards to the transfer window, as he was appointed before the end of last season, resuming work on the 1st of July - the day the transfer window opened. It was extreme carelessness on his part that the club chased shadows all through the summer, managing only to sign Maroune Fellaini on deadline day. The club had engaged in fruitless searches elsewhere.
What is proving to be the most difficult situation for Moyes, which might prove pivotal in his success or failure at Man United, is the playing relationship between Wayne Rooney and last season's hero Robin van Persie.
As I pointed out above, very few teams play with a twin strike force but clearly Moyes wants to keep Rooney and Van Persie happy by playing them both from the start. It is not working. The midfield empties and is shorn of numbers, as opponents overwhelm the two United have there. This then dries up the supply to the strikers, making playing the two of them irrelevant.
Wayne Rooney had said that he fell out with Sir Alex last season because he was asked to play a lot in midfield. Never mind that, factually, it was falsehood, as he played most of his matches last season as a forward. The fact is that now he seems to want to just score goals. His body language is that of a man who only wants to add to his tally and will not be ready for anything else. Robin van Persie also only wants to score goals as he did so thrillingly last season.
David Moyes needs to ignore the selfishness of both his star forwards and think of the success of his team first, which is closely tied to his tenure at Old Trafford, in making the hard decision of dropping one of them. A decision like that will send out a message to all the players that he is not afraid to take hard decisions for the benefit of the team and players will then trust him more.
It needs to be reiterated that the desires of both players to be the number one striker for the club is not a bad thing. It is the effect of having both of them in tandem that is a problem. Someone might point out that City have two strikers but City play with midfielders who are brilliant.
Liverpool, Chelsea, Spurs and Arsenal make sure of their numbers in midfield to ensure territorial equality first, before going on to look for superiority in goals scored.
David Moyes has to sort the situation out pretty fast. He has the players to do it, his job is to present them with the right tactics for each match. It is embarrassing for a club the size of Man United to get a solitary point from two home games against WBA and Southampton.
The Premier League title race will run to the wire with so many teams to be involved to the end. The manager of the defending Champions David Moyes has to ensure he is part of the title race if he wants to have a job next season. It is that straightforward.

A VICTIM OF MATH

My feelings about Math (which are very negitive)

I've been going to school for a while now, and although I still don't like homework, by far the worst homework in whole universe in all it's eternity, is math. Doesn't matter what it is I hate it. Those four letters have continued to ruin my life ever since first grade. The only thing I ever remember about math is how much I hate it.
First of all who cares? If I wanted to know what x equal or the angles of a triangle, I would've figured it out on my free-time. I believe that four plus four or x equals whatever is a mystery that is best left alone. Plus, it's all confusing you do this and times it by this number and it magically becomes this number, which you then minus by this then times it by the other number and then you have plug it back into the equation and do it all over again. Honestly if any one wanted to torture me, make me do math. Or if someone said, "Do this algebraic function right or we'll kill you." I'd probably just say, "Shoot me now 'cause it'll be wrong."
My philosophy on math is this: Calculators do a darn good job of doing our math, I say we keep on letting them go at it, if someone wants to do math for fun, they can go ahead. (However, that person should probably be evaluated by a physcologist)
Fortunately I way to counter my math problem. God has given me a great gift that helps me greatly with my math homework. Creativity. How does this help? Well, let's say, hypothetical situation, I don't understand my math homework, (that whole "hypothetical thing was total sarcasm by the way) I'll just creatively make up my own way to solve the problem. It may not be right, but I got my homework done, besides that what re-dos and extra-credit are for. So say I have problem (which by the way are very fitting names, because in my life they are most definitely problems) I might add the four to the five which is nine and times that by the two to get x which is eighteen.
You may be thinking "Poor Child she doesn't know her algebra," but believe me I prefer it this way. This is the only way I have fun with math.
So that's how I feel about math. You may feel differently about it and that's okay, (even though I think you may need serious help if you do) but my blog is to write about how I feel. If you want to write about how amazing math is write your own blog. On this one "math" and "amazing" will never go in the same sentence, except that last one.

JOB VACANCY

Purchasing Officer — Lagos Mainland

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Uke Deadly Stampede: Should Gov. Obi Be Held Responsible?

The stampede at the Holy Ghost Adoration Ministry, Uke, in Idemili North local government area of Anambra State that left at least 30 people dead at the weekend, should be blamed on Governor Peter Obi for turning the house of prayer into a place of politics, the All Progressives Congress (APC) has said.

APC had in a statement signed by its Interim National Publicity Secretary, Alhaji Lai Mohammed in Lagos on Sunday, said had the Anambra governor and the unpopular candidate he is seeking to impose on people of the state, Willie Obiano, not gone to the praying ground to engage in wrongful politicking, the innocent souls that died at the vigil would still be alive today.
The party argued that while there is nothing wrong in a state governor attending a vigil, such visits should be communicated to organizers to enable them make proper security arrangements, and it should also not be a license to engage in political campaigns.
APC condemned the plan by Gov. Obi to set up a panel to investigate the stampede, considering the fact that he is integral to the entire tragedy.
“Setting up a panel to investigate the cause of the stampede will amount to seeking to be a judge in your own case. The only cause of the stampede is the Governor’s ill-advised visit to the vigil. Information at our disposal has it that the stampede was triggered by the Governor’s overzealous security details who manhandled congregants as their principal was exiting the venue of the vigil. The security details were said to have been irked by the murmurs of disapproval that greeted the Governor’s attempt to campaign for his candidate, Mr. Obiano.
“It is therefore disingenuous for the Governor’s spin doctors to be shifting the blame on the supporters of our candidate, Senator Chris Ngige. The simple truth is that there would have been no stampede if Gov. Obi had not come to the vigil or, even if he had come, had not attempted to politicize the gathering that was meant strictly for prayers,” APC said.

The party admonished Gov. Obi to take a cue from the disapproval that is trailing his desperate bid to impose a candidate on the state by ending all activities that can endanger the lives of Anambrarians.
“We recall that an angry protest also greeted the attempt by the APGA campaign train, with Obiano in tow, to shut markets in Onitsha last month. The protests effectively short-circuited the APGA campaign. Had the Governor and his entourage learnt their lessons from the Onitsha debacle, they would not have needlessly endangered the lives of the same people whose votes they are desperately but undeservedly seeking,” it said.
APC said Obiano’s candidacy is not worth the blood and tears of the good people of Anambra, hence Gov. Obi should desist from trying to impose an unpopular candidate on the people.
The party prayed God to grant repose to the souls of the departed, just as it wished all those injured in the stampede a speedy recovery and the families of the victims the fortitude to bear their losses.

NLNG Post-Graduate Scholarship Scheme 2014

Nigeria LNG Limited is pleased to call for applications from qualified candidates into the NLNG Post-Graduate Scholarship Scheme for entry into Masters Programmes in the United Kingdom in September 2014. The Scheme is administered by British Council Nigeria.

Criteria for Award
Potential beneficiaries must:

• be entering into a Masters programme in Engineering, Geosciences, Environmental Sciences, Management Sciences, Information Technology, Law and Medicine
• be Nigerian nationals resident in Nigeria
• provide identification documents from their L.G.A.s
• provide evidence that they are available to travel in September 2014 if selected.
• possess a 2 Class Upper degree in a relevant field of study
• have completed the NYSC programme
• be no more than 30 years of age

Method of Application 
Application forms for the scholarship can be downloaded by clicking here or visiting www.britishcouncil.org.ng Completed application form, along with an attached coloured passport photograph of applicant should be submitted via email to: nlngpgscholarship@ng.britishcouncil.org

Please do not attach any documents to the completed application form. Only application forms accompanied by a single passport photograph will be considered.

Applications into the Nigeria LNG Post-Graduate Scholarship Scheme will be received only via email; if you do not have regular access to the internet, you can download the form onto your personal computer and email it back after you have completed it.
Only applications sent to: nlngpgscholarship@ng.britishcouncil.org will be considered. Exceptions will only be given to applicants with ‘special needs’.

The Selection Process
Candidates whose applications are successful will be invited to sit for a test. On the basis of the results of the test, applicants will be invited for interviews from which the final selection will be made.
Please note that only those who make it into the various stages of the selection process will be contacted.
More information about the Nigeria LNG Postgraduate Scholarship Scheme can be found in the FAQ document here.

Application Deadline: Friday, 15th November 2013

My Pregnancy is not from Jim Iyke; I was asked to frame him - Nancy confesses

The alleged pregnancy saga involving actor Jim Iyke and the daughter of a Lagos businessman, Nancy is now taking a different dimension. When the story broke recently, many condemned Jim Iyke even without

giving him the benefit of doubt, but his woman, Nadia Buari, stood by him.
At last, the lady, Nancy has confessed and Jim Iyke too has reacted.
Nancy has opened up that some persons actually approached her to frame Jim Iyke up and cause confusion in his marriage-bound relationship with Nadia Buari.
She however refused to give details of her sponsor but she has dropped the allegation that they dated secretly and he that he got her pregnant.
On his part, Jim Iyke said his enemies will continue to fail: